This is just a small part of who I am. It in no way defines who I am as a person. (note as I have no official diagnosis of Asperges I may actually have a much milder form known as Attention Deficit Disorder aka ADD)
Key terms used in this document:
AS: Asperger Syndrome. more info click here
Aspie, Aspies: a person, people who have Asperger Syndrome
ASD: Autistic Spectrum Disorder. more info click here
NT: Neurotypical. more info click here
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. more info click here
LPS: Lazy Person Syndrome (my own term for opposite of OCD)
ASNZ: Asperger’s Syndrome New Zealand
Attention Deficit Disorder
What is Asperger Syndrome
Asperger syndrome (AS) is the largest part of the Autism Spectrum (ASC) and is characterised by significant challenges with social interaction, alongside defined and repated patterns of behavioUr and set interests. It differs from other Autism Spectrum conditions by its relative preservation of significant linguistic skills and normal to above average cognitive development. Although not required for diagnosis, Dyspraxia (Gross Motor Discoordination) and atypical (peculiar, odd) use of language are frequently reported … The exact cause is unknown but is largely genetic.
Adapted from wikipedia click here
As AS affects the brain’s wiring in many ways it is hard to diagnose in many individuals, and it is often not picked up or misdiagnosed. Also there are people in the medical profession that think AS is something made-up, non medical, or attribute it to the way an individual is brought up – even blaming parents (‘bad parenting skills cause AS’). People with AS often lack typical social skills, but may find it easier to exhibit aspie social skills with their own kind. They find it a challenge to communicate as they don’t comprehend or pick up easily on body language, facial expressions, subtle gestures and other non-verbal forms of communication. E.G. someone says something like “grow up man, learn to act your age ya plonker” but using a wickedly sarcastic tone, the tone changes the meaning into a bit of fun banter, making a laugh or joke of it. An aspie can miss the tone and go away hurt, bruised and wounded on the inside, thinking they were picked on.
Asperger’s Tendencies
1. Many Aspies have OCD or OCD-like tendencies. This can be a good or bad thing.
Good: As a way to cope, and to get over things, it can help keep us on track and remembering to do things and not slip into our old habits that are not good at all.
Bad: It can also distract us from things we should and need to do, such as me focusing on my computer way to much, 70-90% of my day can easily be filled-up with being on my computer… other things just don’t get done.
2. Aspies can have the opposite to OCD. Either a form of depression. or just LPS (Lazy Persons Syndrome). A strong aversion to repetitive or tedious tasks.
Me: I tenad to have LPS. As I treat my house as a place to relax, not a bad thing in itself but, I don’t do anything. Most of my time at home is spent on my computer. I ignore things like housework, cleaning, gardening, having regular showers etc. (yes embarrassing I know). I have slight OCD or have learnt to deal with it somewhat. When I was growing up I probably had more OCD-like tendencies. When I have an OCD moment, I notice I get locked on an idea, only one way of thinking or doing something, I try to force my opinions onto others, put their opinion / idea down and dismiss it as rubbish. I repeat my ideas over and over and try to have the last say.
People with AS are often misunderstood. Aspies being different NTs, even other Aspies, look at them as different, weird, strange people and often grow up being picked on or bullied at school and in life. As Adults they often find it hard to get ahead. These people often end up in low paying or bottom end jobs. As Aspies get looked down upon, bulled etc they can also end up suffering from depression, and often some stay away from the world, spend most of there time at home, and lead very reclusive lives. This is not healthy for anybody especially if the aspi has OCD.
There is some good information on-line if you look up asperger syndrome. Wikipedia has some great information click here Allot of the link does not apply to me but under the section titled Other click here I see I am like that.
I want to thank John Greally, a trusted facebook friend of mine, for his help and suggestions with the above information.
I have what is called “High Functioning Asperger’s” (something very similar or ADD). This is where, In many respects I am, and function, normally like most NT people. But at times I have, what we in the AS community like to call a meltdown, an aspi moment. In these moments I am not always a good person to be around. Now I have learnt to read the signs that lead me to have a meltdown and can often calm myself down and stop them happening as often.
I remember how I was picked on at school allot. I see now that this was mainly due to the fact that, as I was different, nobody understood me. I did seem weird to them.
Growing up and trying to fit into this world has not been easy for me. It was not till God showed me how I was, I began to realise for myself,
and accepted how God made me. This begun the long process of working through issues in my life, with a bit of counselling for some time and some great prople to help me along the way.
Emile: My best mate, he has put up with me allot even to the point that most other people would just walk away, through me abusing him unintentionally, while God was taking me through the path of big healing and showing me so much. We can share deep things together and allow God to help us both out. Totally amazing.
Jean: She has been a great friend also putting up with much from me. She has really helped me begin to understand what asperger’s (ADD) is. With her training as a teacher aid and working as a support worker. so gentle and accepting.
Others: There have been many others come and go along the way, too many to name them all. But I would like to thank all the people from Elevate: Christian Disability Trust and my church Eden Assembly Of God. You accept me for who I am and allow me to contribute to your group, lives and so much more I’m can’t even say.
I thank God for all the wonderful people in my life who accept me for who I am.
After accepting I am an Aspie, I can look back on my life and see that the little things I tend to do, habits etc I could not see then. The fact I did not pick up on certain social skills. I explain it like this.
Someone asks me to show them how to do something on their computer, I would take a look, take over and ignore them altogether, then finish it. forgetting to show them how to for them selves. I have now learnt how to slow down, I tell people to let me work it out first, then I show them, stop, and let them do it themselves, I tell them to wright it down, and we go ov3er it until they get it. When I do this it is great.
To help me remember things I find having my smart phone, and computer very useful. I make use of Google Calendar and Google Tasks to help me, remember appointments, meetings etc. also using the alarm clock to remind me to take medication or a break, the countdown timer can be handy, to give me boundaries, like 15 mints cleaning, 15 mints doing something else, then 15 mints cleaning again etc. I don’t always remember to do these things and it is not easy, but when I do them I find they help me allot.
I have learnt, and sometimes need to remember to
1. Think of others and not just myself,
2. Go places I may not want to,
3. Do things I don’t like.
4. I put people off by stating and repeating things allot, being to blunt, loud, intense and going on and on.
5. I have found it helpful to keep things simple, say “no” or “yes” without an explanation if offered something, or if someone says hey you should try this or that. People don’t want or need to hear why I don’t want or like things as I can tend to go off on a big story.
6. Understanding these things I still find I default to them, especially if tired, unwell, or just having an aspi day.
I need to find a good balance between spending time by myself and other
people, staying at home all day every day is not a good thing. I need to make myself go out and do something, even if just for a walk, go to the local coffee shop, catch up with friends, help others out, go to a dropin-centre day program where i can help out.
Overall I find its not really bad being an Aspi and it’s what I do to manage it that makes me fit into society. If I want to change then I have to begin to make the change. Knowledge means nothing if its not put into practise.
Others
For all of you reading this. If you have, think you may have, you know someone who does or you think may have AS or a related condition. Here are some places you can go to get help.
Here is a list of facebook groups for all those on facebook (thanks to John Greally for allowing me to use this list here).
THE ASNZ LIST OF HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FACEBOOK PAGES
*** NEW ZEALAND ***
ACTIVISM/ADVOCACY (OPEN): Asperger’s Syndrome … http://www.facebook.com/groups/ASNZGROUP/
MENTORING (CLOSED): Aspie Help …
NEWS (OPEN): Autisum in New Zealand …https://www.facebook.com/groups/22057177435
SOCIAL (CLOSED): The Sandpit (Asperger’s Syndrome New Zealand Social/Anti-Social Club) … https://www.facebook.com/groups/ASNZSASC/
PERSONALITIES (CLOSED): Justice for Arie Smith-Voorkamp … https://www.facebook.com/groups/204647826227460/
COMMERCE (OPEN): Asperger’s Exchange … https://www.facebook.com/pages/Aspergers-Exchange/296498367068931
*** AUSTRALIAN ***
AUSTRALIAN (CLOSED): Brisbane Aspergers Syndrome Adults … https://www.facebook.com/groups/101075841589/
*** INTERNATIONAL ***
GENERAL (CLOSED): Adults With Asperger’s Syndrome … https://www.facebook.com/groups/aspergersadults/
GENERAL (OPEN): Adults With Asperger’s Syndrome … https://www.facebook.com/groups/3063365093/
GENERAL (OPEN): Aspies For Freedom … https://www.facebook.com/groups/8135950189/
GENERAL (OPEN): International Asperadults … https://www.facebook.com/groups/113921868706732/
ACTIVISM/ADVOCACY (CLOSED): the Autistic Self Advocacy Network … https://www.facebook.com/groups/43228591181/
RESEARCH (CLOSED): Autism (ASD) Research, Advocacy, Support, Social Network … https://www.facebook.com/groups/AustimARASS/
SOCIAL (CLOSED): Aspergers Amongst Aspergers … https://www.facebook.com/groups/186779021379291/
MEN (CLOSED): International Aspermen … https://www.facebook.com/groups/211644015555243/
WOMEN (CLOSED): Autism Women’s Network … https://www.facebook.com/AutismWomensNetwork
*** INTEREST ***
NEURODIVERSITY (CLOSED): Alyson Bradley AsPlanet … https://www.facebook.com/asplanet
NEURODIVERSITY (OPEN): Neurodiversity … https://www.facebook.com/pages/Neurodiversity/107960059224078
PHOBIA ACTIVISM (CLOSED): Aspergophobia – End Phobia About Aspergers … https://www.facebook.com/Aspergophobia
PHOBIA ACTIVISM (CLOSED): Wipeout Neurophobia now … https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wipeout-Neurophobia-now/287536787938362
SPORT/OUTDOORS (CLOSED): Austic / Aspie Sportspeople … https://www.facebook.com/groups/127300417372425/
Autism and Derby … http://www.facebook.com/groups/265140523559007/
PERSONALITIES (CLOSED): Ari Ne’eman … https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15211035
Music Mike Here 